"In college I held the firm belief that through “comprehensive and accurate sex education” women and men can enjoy sex that is free from concern regarding unplanned pregnancies and disease. Through open dialogue regarding what turns us on, STD testing and effective birth control the couple can have a happy, exciting sex life. I taught women how to use condoms, I personally escorted women for STD testing after a spring break trip got a little crazy and I raised money to lower the cost for IUDs for poor women.
My theory was wrong for me and for the many couples in my social circle. After 15 years of marriage we didn’t have exciting, frequent sex. After the honeymoon period it became infrequent, recreational and self-serving. It was common among my friends to lament what went wrong in our marriages, why the men weren’t interested and how we could get them in the mood (or not in the mood as many women no longer wanted sex). Prior to his vasectomy my husband told me he’d divorce me if I had chosen to keep the baby after we learned I had miscarried. That was his right; we had both said we didn’t want kids. Sex was for pleasure, not for babies. We since divorced.
The “comprehensive and accurate sex education” that I sought 20 years ago is the Creighton method, not condoms. My yearning for sex that is free from concern about unplanned pregnancies and disease has not changed. The way to achieve it has.
My body is a gift, not a burden. Fertility is not something to loathe, to control. It is something to work with. The woman’s body is designed to achieve pregnancy, but not always. A condom is not necessary to prevent pregnancy. Knowledge of my fertile time is necessary. A husband excited, willing and engaged in sharing the responsibility is necessary. Being in a committed marriage is necessary. No daily hormone pill, no copper wire inserted into my body, no latex. Discussion, daily checking of my cycle, learning about me is necessary. The result is a happy, exciting sex life beyond what I ever imagined."
~A.W. Fort Worth, TX